oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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