Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
