I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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