this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize