i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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