Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
