Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
