let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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