i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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