this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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