take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
