I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
