i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
