I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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