in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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