So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
