porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
