i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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