The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize