Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
