So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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