i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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