girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
