i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You pole danced in your parka.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You ruined the universe
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
