good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
