im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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