conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
