I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
