i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
