I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
