I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
is it fun? or sober?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
