they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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