Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
