I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
