Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
