he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
