You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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