i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
