i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
