I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
