next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
