This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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