I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
