What a fucking waste of an outfit
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize