I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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