I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
