my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
