Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
