Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize
