She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
