Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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