he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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