Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
