Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
