9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
