I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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