ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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