Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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