she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
