so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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