I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
