I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
