I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
