Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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