Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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