ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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