I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
